If you haven’t heard of the Wypipo, now is the time to educate yourself, because they are coming. The Wypipo tribe are an ancient people from off the coast of San Recto, just east of Mexico’s southern border. The island was treated like that island in India where the innocent missionary was killed by savages until the 1800s, when they started releasing their “come to age of kill and seed” males and the “nearly ripened bellies of the future” females to a pilgrimage to Puerto Vallarta, Louisiana.
Once there, the Wypipo youngsters had three days to make a choice. They got to experience Mardi Gras, then they migrated east to Plant City, Florida for the Strawberry Festival. It was there that Corporal Alexander Argueta-Smith married a Wypipo girl named Shanandon of the Buffalo Wypipo, introducing what would be become known as “the first anchor baby” into American culture. Historian and specialist on anchor babies, Art Tubolls, weighed in:
“Wypipo think that their children are special. they think that their pregnancies are special. They feel like because they are Wypipo, that their lives matter more than anyone else’s. Shenandon of the Buffalo Wypipo isn’t a bad person; she just doesn’t understand how things work in the real world.”
That’s the truth. Here in America, Wypipo automatically qualifies for nearly every form of public assistance, just for being Wypipo. When we asked one of their elders, Whose legal name of Preston Hess comes back to a Paypal account offering 197 handjobs for a little over a buck each, she said that all Wypipo are accepted for public assistance in under 5 minutes.
The US Army estimates that there are at least 30 Wypipio in the caravan and that they probably have a bunch more than the rest:
“In the caravan, you point out the Wypipo from their cleanliness and attention to detail. Most of them spend their nights hitting Latino kids with sticks who don’t get the name and address of their parents right. Suddenly, they get lost and belong to the sacred Wypipo. These people should not be given special consideration.”
The Wypipo are well-known for gathering in large groups and allowing smaller “pipo” as their culture refers to other juveniles, to do the heavy lifting. The poor little Wypipo will probably go up and down 12 sets of stairs tonight.