Michael Jordan is Running for US Senate as a Republican

Michael Jordan has been ruffling Democrat feathers ever since he came out in support of veterans over Colin Kaepernick. He left the Board of Directors of Nike, taking his anti-gravity juice for Air Jordans with him. The company lost $4 billion.

Less than a month ago, Jordan changed his party affiliation. Democrats called him a racist.

Now, to ice the cake of Democrat shame, Jordan will be running for the Senate in 2020 — as a Republican.

He’ll run against sitting Democrat Senator Stuart Boll. Boll says he’s not concerned now that Jordan has shown his true colors:

“Jordan has obviously left the realm of reality and returned to his North Carolina roots. He’s not an Illinoiser. He’s a southerner. And a Republican. We all ‘K-K-K know’ what that means, right?”

Jordan is far too classy to respond. He did release a picture of himself wearing his famous Confederate Flag boxer shorts under his basketball uniform at NCU. The caption was “Heritage Not Hate.” Several historians reminded him that his family was owned by southerners, which is not the same thing as being a southerner. The irony was lost somehow.

Jordan’s attorney, Art Tubolls, released a statement to respond:

“Michael Jordan is running as a Republican because everyone knows the Democrats formed the KKK and then they fought against the rights of the Confederacy. They also tried to repeal the 20th Amendment and created the Emoluments Clause that is such a thorn in President Trump’s side. Future Senator Jordan knows exactly why he’s a Republican.”

This is great news for a party the Democrats call racist. It is a scientific fact that a party with a single black person in it cannot be racist. Period. Please get out there and cast your vote for Jordan in 2020, no matter what state you’re from.

About Flagg Eagleton 2 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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