BREAKING: Jane Curtain Charged With Felony Inciting Violence for Hateful NYE Stunt

The US Department of Justice has been ordered by the Acting Attorney General to charge Jane Curtain with a felony for inciting violence for her remarks on live TV on New Years Eve. According to the AG’s office, her little stunt was a big mistake. DOJ spokesman and head of the Inter-Agency Counter-Terrorism Task Force and Space Force Committee, Art Tubolls, told Breitbart:

“We’re not messing around with these Hollywood types. Last time a liberal started spouting off there were conservatives in rural towns across America waking up to blackmail campaigns and identity theft as far as the eye could see. It was digital and photographic terrorism, plain and simple.”

Tubolls is referring to the recording and posting of men getting pleasure with their beloved animals, which is a tradition in many farm communities and goes to heritage in much of the south. Those private moments are being recorded and distributed to trolls on the internet, who use them to ask for money. If the victim doesn’t pay, they’re exposed in pictures penetrating a sheep — or even a sheepdog — which could harm their credibility if they ever decide to leave the community that already accepts them for who they are.

Curtain’s remarks will harm those good people most of all, and that is unacceptable. She’s being held without bail or counsel as a suspected domestic terrorist. She will be out of the federal torture system and into the mainstream system by Thursday when she’ll ask a judge for bail.

About Flagg Eagleton 107 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.