BREAKING: Loyal to the End – Penny Marshall Donates Estate to Trump 2020

Penny Marshall left this world after working with greats like Ron Howard, Tom Hanks, Henry Winkler and the famous comedy duo of Lenny and Squiggy. She experienced it all, including an entire year as a guest of the Trumps in Florida. According to the family’s Funeral Director, Art Tubolls:

“Penny had a hard tome after Shirley died. First Joannie, then Shirley? Mr. and Mrs. C were gone…Winkler was doing stupid shit and getting covered in bees…Penny sank pretty far pretty fast. Had it not been for her friendship with Trump, she may not have made it through.”

The concierge at Mar a Lago confirms that Penny Marshall was a guest there, without fee, for 357 days in 2011. Her daily regimen included walking, swimming, opiate sessions with Dr. Sanjay Gupta and a motorcycle ride weekly with Eric Trump, who denies their relationship was anything other than platonic.

Marshall has shown her gratitude in death by donating her entire estate to the Trump 2020 re-election campaign. Marshall never married or had children, and grew up in the New York orphanage near where Trump went to business school. The two were lifelong friends. It was an unlikely companionship that kept going, even after she realized he was being a little bit racist about those Central Park Five kids.

Penny once told a friend of someone who may or may not have worked at the Trump Foundation:

“He once told me I was too horse-face for him otherwise I’d smash that sexy thing. Marla would no chance. That new girlfriend, though…what’s her name?”

They couldn’t recall the rest of the conversation, when where or if it actually happened, meaning Trump can still run for Supreme Court someday. That was one of Penny Marshall’s dreams. Donald Trump on the Supreme Court of the United States. No. Seriously. Ask anyone. Big news in New York. The city can now use Penny’s money to rally behind her idol.

About Flagg Eagleton 104 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.