BREAKING: Nancy Pelosi Will Only Allow president Trump 10 Minutes for the SOTU

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has sent a confirmation letter to the White House, letting President Trump know his appearance for the State of the Union Address is on as scheduled. The thing is, for the first time in history, the invitation “Begins at 9, allowing for 5 minutes to reach the podium and end promptly at 9:15. Basically, she’s giving the President the floor, as required by Article 3 Section 18 sub-section 4 of the Constitution, and then kicking him out in 10 short minutes.

The Pelosi Administration has issued a statement of their own through Senator Al Vindy’s office:

“The Speaker is well within her right to limit the time given to any speaker on the House Floor rule, pursuant to HR 10893-P and under the 11th Amendment. She can do what she wants with the House Floor, just like Mitch McConnell can sit and stifle progress for a decade so the black guy doesn’t get credit for his work. It’s all very white nationalist, racist and un-American, and Speaker Pelosi will only put up with it for 10 minutes. Period. At that point, she will gavel out and the standard 20 minutes until lights out will begin, and all public reporting must end.

Donald is welcome to stand before a silent microphone and deliver his speech to nobody, but at 10 PM they’ll arrest him for trespassing. This is not your House, Trump. Call brown people names, demand a wall, blame all your shortcomings on others, demand Hillary Clinton be investigated and make sure you don’t forget all about the ‘no collusion’ thing, because that’s what the State of the Union is all about.

Ten minutes should be more than enough.”

The White House hasn’t responded, but preliminary reports say Trump may use the entire 15 minutes as a meet-and-greet. His Secret Service agents are instructed to hand out Skittles and Reese’s Pieces because our president is just a regular guy, so there will be plenty of happy faces for the camera. Afterward, Trump will retire to the Oval Office where he’ll deliver the SOTU like a fireside chat — on the phone with Rush Limbaugh.

About Flagg Eagleton 103 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.