BREAKING: Supreme Court Orders California to Stop Forcing ‘Arabic Numerals’ on Students

California’s new law that requires all students to use Arabic numerals on their schoolwork, rather than more traditional American ones, has been overturned by the Supreme Court. In an 8-1 decision opposed only by Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the high court ruled that any religious numerals in schools constitute an unconstitutional constitutional crisis. In the lead decision, Justice Brett Kavanaugh wrote:

“We were never allowed an official language because the Constitution says we have to represent all things equally. That goes for this issue. To exclude American numerals for Arabic numerals goes against everything we know. On a scale of 1 to 10, this is a 10 in terms of how wrong it is. If we wanted to confuse kids with foreign things we’d teach them Roman numerals, which are far less barbaric.”

The court’s ruling will go into effect immediately Monday morning in all California schools, where the seven forty-five home room bells will never be the same. Advocates of the bill were the same who tried to make all schools change their menus to include Halal bacon for Muslamics and Kosher shellfish for Jewish kids. They also tried to get schools to serve meat on Friday during Lent, which is an affront to God and can’t ever happen in a public school.

About Flagg Eagleton 104 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.