BREAKING: Trump Issues First and Most Important Executive Order of 2019

President Trump started his day with an Executive Order that will change the way the Press covers the White House. According to EO90894R45E:

“The President Shall convene a committee to rate the White House Press Corps based on the reliability of their information. Anyone found to be Fake News will be denied a 2019 Press Pass.”

The President isn’t joking. Nearly 104 percent of the media coverage on him (margin of error 3-4 percent) has been negative, or fake, calling him a liar for saying things or mocking his method of governing just because the government happens to be shut down and the market is in a free fall. With this executive order, we won’t have to worry about hearing it. None of it is conducive to the life of an average American. We just want to go to work and come home, raise our kids and clutch our guns in case someone we don’t know gets too close to the front door. That’s it. is that too much to ask?

President Trump doesn’t think so. Now we can hear what he wants us to hear, not what CNN wants us to hear. Thank you, Mr. President, for making sure this year will be different.

About Flagg Eagleton 104 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.