BREAKING: Trump’s New Chief of Staff is Making Liberal Heads Explode with Rage

President Trump has had it with the Democrats and their PC crap. They make up rules and laws and pretend they matter. They talk about “emoluments” even though that term wasn’t even invented until Lincoln Freed the Slaves. They had to keep the former slave-owners from claiming them on their taxes or the country would have gone bankrupt before the 18th Amendment came along and guaranteed freedoms for the States to decide on what is important.

That was when marijuana became illegal; when cotton replaced hemp as the premier fabric open the planet; when the newly discovered black sludge found in Kansas and Texas turned out to be the greatest thing for our planet in a billion years. Now, with the help of his new Chief of Staff, Trump can continue on the mission of turning what was a crusty old document for Democrat slave owners up to the speed of the 20th century and beyond.

Ivanka Trump, along with Deputy Chief of Staff Eric, will make up the new chain of command at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. White House Director of Information and Propaganda, Art Tubolls, says the change is perfectly legal and far past due:

“DemocRats keep saying it’s illegal to appoint a family member to a non-confirmed, high-ranking position. It’s ridiculous to think that if Ivanka was to walk in and find her father dead that she’d go hysterical or lose it. She would, at that point, assume the Presidency as Trump has laid out in the new line of succession. It’s that simple.”

Makes perfect sense. The only thing better than a Trump in the White House is the guarantee of another Trump taking his place. God Bless our great nation.

About Flagg Eagleton 103 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.