Pelosi, Congress, To Enact Gas Tax to Pay For National Emergency

JUST DO YOUR JOB!

Nancy Pelosi and her Democratic Congress always seem to be able to find a way to damage what President Trump achieves for America.  Starting next Friday, their latest brazenly political ploy is to levy a two-dollar per gallon tax on gasoline in order to “cover the costs” involved with the declared national emergency.

“National emergencies aren’t free. You festering teabags are just lucky I’m not taxing your Metamucil too.”

Pelosi delivered the news from the veranda of her private San Franciso mansion early this morning to a gathered throng of reporters :

“If President Trump insists on his childish game of pretending there’s a ‘national emergency at the border, his supporters will have to pay for it.  This tax will cover the heightened state of security, the overtime pay for our border patrol agents, and the lawsuits that will be brought against this action.  If Mr. Trump knew anything at all about what he was doing, he’d know these things come at a cost.”

Pelosi did not respond to questions about discussion within the house of making use of the 25th Amendment to oust the clearly shitbrained Commander-in-chief from the White House, but did tell the media to keep their eyes open for an announcement by the Capitol police force later this month.  It sounds like between her plans and the gas tax, there’s going to be a rough road ahead for the embattled President.

“Just remember – When we grab him for the arrest, use the extra small handcuffs and bring the fat-guy winch.”