BREAKING: Trump Fires Lewd Navy Couple For ‘Gross Misconduct’

The Navy couple caught on camera in a perverted version of an iconic photo has ruined the homecoming of more than 12,000 sailors. Rather than disembarking and not looking back, they were forced to watch as this travesty played out for the liberal media. According to the Department of the Navy, it never should have happened:

“Now see here…we take a lot of pride in our Navy family values, you hear? We won’t be changing anytime soon to make some hippie grad student feel good about his man bun.This isn’t what we had in mind when we asked the spouses to enter the lottery for the first homecoming kiss. We’ll just stop doing it from now on.”

The Lottery is for the spouses of sailors out on extended post at sea. The winner gets the first kiss and a commemorative photo. The photo above is what happened when LeVont Mochaman decided he would play the nurse so his “husband,” Bob Licheracho from Sandusky, could make a spectacle of what should have been a beautiful moment.

It doesn’t matter that these men love each other and have a happy and devoted life together, however, when President trump has to get involved. When he saw the photo, he knew he had no choice. The men have both been fired from their positions in the Navy, their pensions have been stripped and they’ll have no benefits. The reason on their dishonorable discharge forms will say, “gross misconduct,” according to Trump’s Office, because as the President described it — “it’s the only charge that fits. The whole thing was just gross.”

That isn’t really what that means in legal terms but the Commander-in-Chief is welcome to hire, fire, litigate, and olficiarate at his discretion. In this case, his discretion is to call these attention seekers out and put them on the street where they belong.

About Flagg Eagleton 104 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.