Despite Government Shutdown, Pelosi Frees 13.6 Billion For Obama Presidential Library


If you’re concerned about the legions of people out of work, the trashed public parks, and the other effects of the Government shutdown, then you’re going to be skipping dessert – because Speaker Nancy Pelosi just took the cake.

Utilizing her position as leader of the Congress that controls the purse-strings of the American tax base, Pelosi won’t bend on giving President Trump a measly 6 billion dollars to secure our safety as Americans, but has granted an Appeasement Order 610-G, freeing the use of the sum of 13.6 billion for immediate construction of the Obama Presidential Library in Chicago, Illinois.  The building, which will span two full square miles in the Chicago suburb of West Pomme Dauphine will include millions of volumes of written fare, excluding Bibles, but featuring over 60 different language translations of the Quran.  A spacious indoor lobby leads to a high-tech artificially intelligent “Librarian Holobot” introduction chamber, in which, a simulation of the former President will appear to guide the guest to any searched query, whether it be an adventure in the “Saul Alinsky Radical Room”, or a trip to the “Black Lives Matter Power Wing”, where movies, virtual reality simulations, and classes on the achievements and victories of African-American notaries are showcased.  The first movie to be featured on opening week is the Academy Award winning : “The Last Dragon,” which will be shown in 5-D, utilizing both a time/space “tesseract”, and a hyperdimensional Mxylztptlk reactor.

See, if a guy pops out of the wall, and asks you to pull his superstring, either just say no, or try to vibrate yourself at 65.6 megahertz. That should prevent you from molecularly merging with your neighbor.

President Trump, upon being made aware of Pelosi’s folly reportedly is readying an Executive Order to declare the library site “a soft target” for the National Guard to practice wargames with live ammunition.  That’s our President.  Always thinking outside the box!