UPDATE: Sasha Obama Denied Bail As ‘Flight Risk’

As you’ve undoubtedly heard — unless you watch CNN, MSNBC, and other leftist fake news organizations — Sasha Obama was picked up by police earlier today when she was caught skipping school to hang out with friends and do drugs.

Apparently following in her older sister’s footsteps, Sasha was found by police after teachers noticed she didn’t show up for class. And where was she? She was in the basement of her friend Sally Sitwell with at least three other African-American girls and three black teen boys who had also skipped class for the recently-established annual “F*ck Class and F*ck Cops Day” — an apparent racial protest.

The teens were found smoking marijuana, which police confiscated. A search of the premises turned up twelve hectograms of cocaine, one handgun registered to “Irwin R. Fletcher” (which is not the name of the boy who had it), more than two-dozen tablets of the street drug “bloogies,” and a 20-rock of crack cocaine.

The last time Sasha was picked up by police on her 18th birthday, her father simply bailed her out. But this time, the judge was a bit harder on her. Declaring her a “flight risk,” Judge Miles “Duke” Ellington said in his decision to disallow bail. “Given Ms. Obama’s easy access to money and free spirit, the court cannot ignore that she could easily be states away in hours.”

Sasha will be remanded to the custody of the DC Metro Juvenile Detention Facility until February 23, when she makes her initial court appearance.

This could seriously emperil her enrollment in the University of Michigan, where she was accepted late last year. Perhaps now the Obamas will learn the meaning of consequences and join the rest of us living under America’s rules.

Good job Judge Ellington! Thank you for standing up to these rich disgraces to our country!

About Jolee Garphren 79 Articles
Jolee Garphren is an investigative reporter with 8 years experience who has been featured in numerous publications. She has won multiple awards for her dedication to uncovering the truth, including the "Milo Yiannopolous Award for Journalistic Excellence. Drop her a line at freedomandeaglesandstuff@gmail.com.