BREAKING: Democrat Senator Switches Sides – Pledges To Vote With Trump

The Democrats have lost yet another of their rising stars to their own ignorance. Senator Stuart Boll, the freshman Senator from Maine, has decided to change his party affiliation to Republican.

Boll, whose platform was stricter gun laws and open borders, says he saw the light after spending a weekend at a Presidential retreat to welcome all new members of Congress:

“I knew the platform was wrong, but honestly, I just wanted to get to Washington where I can do some good. Being from Maine, I had never experienced the kind of welfare fraud and violence you see in big cities.

I’ve abandoned the liberal platform so that I may live. I carry a gun. I have to. I am introducing legislation that will see to it that the inner cities are segregated from the suburbs. Not based on race but on income level. Poverty brings crime.

Since the Democrats aren’t going to do anything about crime, I’m going to do the next best thing: Join the other side and get rich. I will be voting with President Trump for the betterment of all conservatives.”

Senator Boll has finally figured out what it means to be a conservative. We care about our personal rights and our personal wealth more, because we matter most. Without us, nobody would see the world through our eyes. Also, change is difficult and scary and nobody really wants that.

Senator Boll with be working with the GOP caucus to come up with a new plan, which will probably include tearing up the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts, as they’re more aimed at allowing people to do things rather than forbidding them. That’s not how American laws work.

Boll’s first official day as a Republican will be this coming Thursday. According to the 22nd Amendment, an elected official can only switch their party on the 2nd Tuesday of the month, to deter people from changing on election day.

Welcome, Senator Boll.

About Flagg Eagleton 104 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.