They arrived in La Cacahuate, Arizona on Monday morning : they came in old Astrovans, Jettas, and in one case, a repurposed mail truck painted with the visage of Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Nueman on the side. The well-organized liberal protest group known as : “Progressives Against Trump And Republican Devolution” filed out of their vehicles and began a campaign of harassment against the good men and women of Yananovich Construction as they tried valiantly to build us our protective wall.
P.A.T.A.R.D. began last year, on the Twitter page of founder Sandra Batten, a former Antifa Lieutenant and part-time baseball seam stitcher. Over that time, it’s membership has swelled into the hundreds, protesting President Trump’s baby jails, tax cut for the rich, and other terrible decisions. The organization receives millions in funding from the Soros and Clinton Foundations as well as selling Smarties candy to Trump supporters and telling them it’s “Sister Viagra.”
Today, all construction has ceased. The liberals pelt workers with rubber churros, lie in front of vehicles yelling anti-Trump slogans like : “Fat monkey f**k your wall”, and play the song : “Under the Bridge” by musical herpes “The Red Hot Chili Peppers” loudly and on a loop. The clearly Hitlerian tactics have driven some workers to flee. Maybe it’s time to use some of that Emergency cash to hire security for these brave people before the P.A.T.A.R.D.s ruin America.