BREAKING: Malia Obama Arrested After ‘Two-Day Eggnog Bender’

“I’ll be home for Christmas” wasn’t a song Malia Obama was singing over the holidays. On Wednesday, Breitbart News received confirmation that there was a reason she didn’t visit her parents for Christmas — she was too busy getting drunk. And her antics landed her in jail.

According to the Harvard City Review, Obama was partying with some friends on Christmas Eve and the celebration moved on into Christmas and the early morning hours of December 26:

A neighbor called in a noise complaint at approximately 4:20 a.m. on Wednesday. Police arrived to find Malia Obama partying with her friends. At the time they knocked on the door, officers say “the Obama girl was rolling around on the floor screaming ‘I am queen potato.” When they checked her blood alcohol level, it was 1.3 — a dangerously high number.

“This was apparently a two-day eggnog bender that turned into something more as more people showed up,” said Police Captain Leland Stottlemeyer.

Police arrested Obama as well as three of her friends: Fiona Dourif, 22, Felicia Day, 18, and Marvin “Black Donkey” Birmingham III, 56. Police found 6 pounds of marijuana shoved into an oversized Prada handbag belonging to Malia Obama. Also, they found two “bindles” of cocaine, twelve tablets of the street drug Halzinger, 42 bloogies, and a massive bong “that closely resembles her father.”

Obama was bailed out by Michelle and Barack Obama later in the morning, but she faces multiple possession charges that for non-royalty would mean years in prison. Since her corrupt dad has no problem throwing his weight around, however, we’re sure she will get off with a slap on the wrist.

The Obama family is corrupt and irresponsible, so it’s no surprise their oldest daughter — who was handed a spot at Harvard despite not having the right grades to earn her place there — would turn to drugs and partying.

After all, she’s just taking after her father, who was known as “Cocaine Barry Soetoro” in his college years.

About Jolee Garphren 79 Articles
Jolee Garphren is an investigative reporter with 8 years experience who has been featured in numerous publications. She has won multiple awards for her dedication to uncovering the truth, including the "Milo Yiannopolous Award for Journalistic Excellence. Drop her a line at freedomandeaglesandstuff@gmail.com.