BREAKING: Supreme Court Rules 5-4: Oaths Not Taken on Bibles Illegal

The Supreme Court split in the typical way we can get used to it splitting this morning in a 5-4 decision to nullify Congressional Oaths taken on the Quran and other mythical texts. According to Chief Justice Roberts, the law is clear. He wrote in his opinion:

“Article 3 of the US Constitution describes the formation, election and oath taking process specifically, with the right hand to God and the left on the Holy Scripture. Because the writers and signers of that document were Christians of the 18th Century, we can deduce very simply that they were Christians and that Christian references should be taken literally. God is in the Constitution three more times than George Washington and twice more than Benjamin Franklin.

The ruling is that if the newly-elected do not take their proper oaths to a proper God, they won’t have any authority to vote for their constituents, who may want to consider impeaching and replacing them.”

In her dissent, Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote:

“This is, once again, a complete crock of doody. The Constitution holds that no religious test be applied to the members of Congress. This entire session is a waste of time and a travesty to this country and its founders, who are surely rolling over in their graves.”

112 Democrats and one independent will have a choice to make. Hopefully, they just go home so Mike Pence can declare them to have abandoned their seat and appoint their replacements.

About Flagg Eagleton 104 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.