Clinton Arrested at Swiss Bank


It was as swift and sudden as a strike of lightning justice this morning at One Bjorgur Boulevard in Svenson, Switzerland : Swiss authorities moved in and placed a long-suspected criminal under arrest.  That criminal was none other than former secretary of state and Presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Hillary Glazedham Clinton, however, is still being sought for driving a 1998 Civic through the wall of a Connecticut Olive Garden in a drunken breadstick rage.

Details are still coming in from witnesses at Dus Sandrabatt Bank’s Svenson branch, but reports tell the tale of private accounts holding millions of dollars of laundered money, suspected to have been funneled out of the Clinton Foundation.  Bank officials became suspicious when the politician and email loser began making withdrawals hastily, and in person, several times a month.  United States federal authorities have been investigating Clinton’s finances since a glut of teabagging balloon heads have been calling for it without evidence or rationality.

This Alabama youth, born in 2015 was named Cletus Lockherup Bumly by his one-eyed parents.

Clinton is being held in a class “c” holding facility until she can be extradited to New York for an American hearing.  Hopefully, justice will finally come for the guilty, like dandruff and athlete’s foot come to a Trump supporter : a white shower ravaging a creeping fungus.