Biden Flunks Drug Test – Loses Security Clearance

Smokin' Joe? Now we know

Joe Biden, the presumptive Democrat nominee for President seems to have run into a bit of trouble. During a routine renewal of his Top Secret Security Clearance, Biden was required to take a drug test. Unfortunately for Joe, the test results were positive, which makes him ineligible for the security clearance he held as Vice President.

Special Correspondent Art Tubolls, who is assigned to the Biden campaign, asked Uncle Joe what happened.  Biden seemed a bit confused, but gave the following reply:

“I don’t know man. I was at a campaign event and someone brought home-made cookies. I asked what kind they were and a campaign volunteer said they were called Chocolate Kush. I love chocolate, so I ate a half-dozen of them in about a half hour. The next thing I knew, I was seeing flying unicorns, inflatable Bernie Sanders balloons and a bunch of other malarkey. I staggered to the car and passed out.

When I got home I told my wife, who is a doctor, what happened. She told me that someone had given me ‘The Pot’ and it was in the cookies. Don’t you have to inject The Pot?

Anyway, I can’t understand why someone would do that. I always say ‘Don’t do The Pot, not even once!’ They should know better.”

Sure, Uncle Joe. A likely story. You’re on The Pot and now everyone knows it. How do you expect to be President, or even hold a high-level position in the Administration if you can’t even get a Security Clearance?

I’m sure the Trump 2020 Campaign will be all over this. Watch for it.

About Slatz Grobnik 11 Articles
Slatz Grobnik spent decades power-drinking with some of America's most popular newspaper columnists, learning all there is to know about Fake News. Now, he's on our side.

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