The latest outrage resulting from the imposition of Shakira Law in all public schools in Dearborn, MI has affected the son of one of the community’s religious leaders. The Rev. Dr. Aynus McDiddle, head of the local Coptic Christian Church, is at a loss on how to deal with the situation after his son, Brian, was caught drawing a mustache on a picture of the Prophet Muhammed. According to Shakira Law, all public schools must now prominently display a picture of the Muslamic Leader. Brian is now facing expulsion from school.
Jesús de Nazaret, principal of the recently renamed Allahu Snakhbar High School explains:
“Shakira Law strictly prohibits the defacing of any images of the Prophet (Peace be upon Him). Any student caught doing so must face immediate and severe punishment. We simply cannot allow our infidel students to insult the Prophet!”
Īsā ibn Maryam, Grand Mufti of the Dearborn Regional Muslamic Council agrees:
“I’m knackered with all these insults. It’s a bloody outrage, innit? By all rights that infidel Brian should get stoned, n’all! Besides, the Prophet (peace be upon Him) didn’t even have a mustache! All those lovely bits of crumpet he had for wives made sure he got a nice shave every morning right along with his bath!”
Brian’s mother’s heart-wrenching response to the Grand Mufti:
“He’s not an infidel, he’s a very naughty boy! I don’t like it when Brian gets stoned. Not one bit.”
Needless to say, Brian’s parents are fighting the expulsion and have retained the services of famed lawyer Terry Jones. Jones is well known for his efforts in the fight against Shakira Law as well as his undying love for Spam.