Fauci Threatens to Quit, Says Trump Is a ‘F***ing Moron’

the truth is beyond the average tater

Even though it was widely expected, Dr. Anthony Fauci was not removed from President Trump’s task force today after criticizing the president’s lollygagging and initial denials of the current crisis on CNN on Sunday. While Dr. Fauci had been trying his best to tiptoe around the president’s narcissism and delusions of grandeur in order to best serve the citizens of the United States, he could finally no longer hold back and resigned from the task force:

“I tried and tried to reason with this idiot. We all did. The man is a f-ing moron, and that’s putting it mildly. He won’t read anything, can’t even understand the most basic of charts, and has the intellectual capacity of a five year old. Scratch that. My five year old grandson is smarter than Trump. At least he doesn’t eat the crayons or paint his face orange.

Do you guys have any idea what it took for me and Dr. Birx to have to stand next to one of the dumbest people on the planet in front of the entire country and listen to him brag about his ratings in the middle of a national crisis? He doesn’t know shit from shinola. It was all we could do do keep from bursting out laughing at this shit show of a presidency.

The man is so stupid, my assistant Joe Barron kept a running tally of his moronic statements so we could all laugh about them at virtual Happy Hour on Fridays.”

Wow. Well, it certainly didn’t take long for Dr. Fauci to express his true feelings. Well, they’re not true, of course, but the average tater doesn’t get that. Howsumever, we have a sneaking suspicion that Dr. Fauci would love to say a word or two about Trump. Here are some more tater cake recipes!

About Watt A Plonker 30 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London, where he shares a flat with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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