Religious Leaders Assure Us That Jesus Christ Lives Through Donald Trump

The truth is right in front of you.

When Donald Trump ran for president in 2015 and came down a golden staircase, Ann Vandersteel, a prominent talk shows host said she saw Jesus Christ in Donald. “I saw Christ emanating from that man” she proclaimed in a recent interview. It turns out, she’s not the only one.

During his trip to the centers for disease control, the CDC, it happened again. It was reported during his inaugural address’s as well, but most brushed it off as nonsense, as many would.

No less than 3 times have religious experts and leaders reported on this phenomenon. Could it be true? Could Jesus Christ have come to save us, albeit in the form of Donald Trump?

The orange glow is a clue. If you’ve read your Bible, it’s clear that Jesus Christ also had an orange glow, almost like a Cheeto snack. The flowing hair is another indication.   It’s hard to tell what color it is, just like Jesus. We don’t know.

Another clue is timing. Look when Donald Trump became president!  Barack Obama was leading this nation.  He was taking our guns and letting men in women’s restrooms. Gasoline was $6 a gallon and nobody had a job.

It is Donald Trump that has taken the bull by the horn with the pandemic and is really doing a fantastic job, just like Jesus would. The similarities are there. Everywhere. 

After the devastating tornados in Alabama, Donald Trump autographed bibles for the victims, and some saw this as blasphemous, but it begs the question, was it a sign that Trump, the most religious man was giving us a sign?

Is it blasphemy to autograph a bible? Probably, but it doesn’t matter.

With everything going on in our world, maybe this is the second coming of our Lord, and he’s here to save us, the United States of America, to save the most faithful Americans. After all, Jesus does love us best.

Where else in the world can you get a sandwich made of greasy fried chicken between two fried donuts, 37 varieties of Rice a Roni, corporations screwing people out of their homes and bigots who use religion to excuse their unwarranted fear and hatred of others? That’s right. America.  God bless us all.

About Craven Moorehead 31 Articles
My name is Craven Moorehead, of Frog Balls, Arkansas. I was born to Wanton and AintGivin Moorehead. My lifted Ford Pick Em Up truck makes up for my lack of manhood. I love Trump, big gals, Budweiser and hot pockets.

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