Elizabeth Warren Secretly Rushed to ER after Brawl with Spunky Klobachar

They say what happened in Vegas stays in Vegas, except this time. Presidential candidates Senators Elizabeth Warren and Amy Klobachar met backstage before the Nevada Democratic debate on Wednesday.

Apparently there is no love lost between the two since the New Hampshire Primary results, according to sources. Charles “Tex” Watson a stagehand witnessed the entire scuffle.

“Well that scrawny blonde chick was steaming mad at that pudgy little one about something.
I ain’t never seen no cat fightin’ such as this here thing with all the whoopin’ an hollerin’. Good Lor’ you’d think they was at the WalMart fightin’ fer(sic) won(sic) of them Cabbage Patch Babies Kids at Chris’mas. They was all kinds of Helter Skelter, hair pullin’, bitin’ eye gougin‘ and that brunette pulled out some brass knucks outta her purse an commenced to knockin‘ that blond screecher across the room. It were a real good cat fight. “

Apparently the argument was a holdover from the week’s previous Primary vote in New Hampshire where the pudgy little brunette Klobachar beat the scrawny blond Warren something fierce. 20% to 9% and that triggered Warren who is always whining about one thing or another.

Nevertheless she persisted by yelling “You fat, little b*t*h, you’re on my turf!” meaning New Hampshire was her “hood” and she (Klobachar) needed to drop out of the race. That was when Klobachar got all up in her grill and screamed to “Just get over it snowflake. That was a week ago, so suck it up Buttercup” then the scuffle started as Mr. Watson described.

Ms. Warren was treated and released from the Roll of the Dice Clinic and Pawn Shop on Las Vegas Boulevard just in time for the debate.

In all fairness Klobachar does know her snowflakes since she announced her candidacy in a blizzard in Minnesota and “Pocahontas” Warren is just that, very weak and pasty white.

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