Romney Quits GOP, Encourages Republicans to Unite to Defeat Trump

senate majority in jeopardy

Well, that didn’t take long. Shortly after his endorsement of Joe Biden in the presidential election, Senator Mitt Romney (UT) announced that he is leaving the Republican Party and joining the Democrats. Senator Romney didn’t stop there, however. He is also encouraging his former fellow Republicans to do the same and unite against President Trump.

The official communique from Romney’s office states in part:

“Donald J. Trump is destroying this country, and he has destroyed the Republican party as we knew it. The GOP has become the Cult of Trump. Rather than drink the Kool Aid, I am renouncing my membership in the wannabe dictator’s party and am encouraging my fellow colleagues to do the same and unite to fight against this Orange Menace.”

Asked for clarification, Romney spokesperson Joe Barron said “Mitt just couldn’t take any more of the Orange Sh*tgibbon, and neither can the American people. Besides, Mitt was tired of his nose smelling like Trump’s anus after a cavity search. It’s time to make sure that this man is relegated to the dung heap of history, where he so deservedly belongs, along with the rest of his family of self-dealing buffoons and moronic ignoramuses. It has become abundantly clear that today’s Democrats are more like the Republican party before Trump.”

Trump counselor Kellyanne Conway refuted those claims:

“How is this somehow Trump’s fault? It all started with Obama and Clinton. Especially Clinton. If people hadn’t hated her so much, Trump wouldn’t even be president today. It was all just supposed to be a publicity stunt. Then all those MAGA hat wearing idiots actually voted for him, and here we are. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have to deal with this moron day in and day out?”

Well, if that doesn’t clear up how people really feel about The Donald, we don’t know what does. Here’s Mitt Romney enjoying some cake!

 

About Watt A Plonker 26 Articles
Watt A. Plonker is a Wurlitzer Prize winning journalist and author of several books on Potato Farming. His latest book, "The Tantalizing Truth About Taters" was on the New York Times best seller list and was awarded the prestigious Creme de la Menthe prize for Culinary Science Fiction. Mr. Plonker lives in Peckham, South East London, where he shares a flat with his wife Gladys, who is a nurse with the National Health Service, and his pet hamster Rodney.

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